Confirmed realisation.

What have I become?

Initially what I hated; initially what I would of condemned. Change is a horrible thing, these subjects of emotion. Everyone you will ever know will dissapear. We will all fall into the void, seperated. Apart.

For now.

Rain.

Self-destruction presents itself in phases.

Time has come to drop this charade. Revert back. One cannot change. Things will break.

Repugnant.

You disgust me.

Fegurð sálar hennar.

That's what it feels like; I know you can feel it now. The connection that will never be made; conversations that will never occur.

You make me nostalgic for moments that never occurred.
Is this a sign that I might be overcoming? I'm not so sure.

These entries have always been completely personal, expressing feelings and ideas reflected off situations, emotions and ordeals I may have endured or encountered, but I have never really made such a direct reference to the subject...

It's okay, nobody reads this. Which I'm fine with, I'm okay if people are reading or not. This blog acts as an outlet for me, whether other people are interested or not isn't of my concern. These writings may come across cryptic and puzzling in some regions, others being blatantly obvious. However, every single entry I have posted, every single word has a personal meaning to me...

Documented. Noted.

To carve your face into the back of the sun.

In performance I watched him cast a circle of light upon the stage, and step into that circle, and reveal the dreams and reveries of his heart. He seemed to dance in the eye of something mysterious and creative; with every gesture he embodied the child and the feminine.

When all the tiny hairs on your body stand on end. When a feeling of pure beauty overwhelms your body and soul. One can try and describe this feeling (like I am now), but it comes no where near to what it actually feels like.

I've only ever found one moment like this in my entire life so far. Just one.

Realisation.

Becoming more and more aware every day. Secrets, infatuations, truths.
This is all too trivial.

Nothing more to say.

Loss.

Losing data is a gift, when you lose invisible bits you become more aware of the transitory nature of the everything. There are no backups or tape archives of real life, why should mediated reality have a different mode?

Time.

Time is a selfish human entity. If there is nobody around to witness time; time stops.

An idea -
If there was only one human in existence, even though time would be still be present, it would not matter. Time truly becomes meaningful only on a large scale; when many are involved. Time is used to measure successes and triumphs over other people. For instance, success is measured by how full a person’s life has been (whether this is through wealth, prosperity, fame, etc), summed up at the end; compared to another life. This all becomes possible with the constant of time added to the equation.

Now imagine if there was only one human being in existence, time would not matter because there would be no one else’s achievements to compare to. Therefore, time causes the pack to become selfish; to be better than others in the short time they are around. This may be through careers, relationships, journeys, or even religious matters. These things only matter when time (and a population of people) is introduced.

Through this 'one human' theory, we can see that such things as careers, relationships, journeys or religious ventures now become irrelevant as this human does not have a population (with a limited amount of time) racing against him/her. Now all that this human needs to do to fulfil his/her life - to succeed - is to live out his/her time. To survive until he/she cannot, until time takes over. Time would become irrelevant as there would be no need to compare these trivial human pursuits, because there would be no one to compare to.

Selfish creatures.

Complete field.

The adepts of Pythagoras lived in pitch black caves to receive wisdom through their visions.

I can see right in front of me.
Acting this way isn't deceiving.
It doesn't make things better.

Neither does this.

Truth.

And so the night came; I was to tell you, "Time was ill-spent."
Before things change, I need to let you know.

"Every man and every woman is a star," that is, an aggregate of such experiences, constantly changing with each fresh event, which affects him or her either consciously or subconciously."

See through.

I am.

40^80.

Just to think, that such a thing can be developed within the mind.

These thoughts that exceed the universe, all known reality; remain in these small spaces. An entity that exceeds the space that it occupies. So, we exist in chaos. Simple rules of mathematics are broken by simple mathematical equations - a volume cannot exceed the space in which it occupies. However, answers occupy these spaces.

1.46150164 × 10¹²⁸

We revert again.